I can't say i didn't wanna try it, and i can't say i have no one to blame but myself
cause i did wanna try it and you'll figure out who's to blame soon enough

I know what you're thinking. Don't
bullshit me, because I do... You're
thinking, oh dear lord in heaven,
please, I'm begging you. I'll gouge
out my eyes with the straw in my
drink right now. I'll jam every
last kernel of popcorn into my
mouth until I suffocate, just not
another fucking teenage coming-of-
age story.Well, relax...no prom night
highjinks, no nerds becoming
popular and no Shakespeare set in
high school...I promise.

I suppose the obvious answer is my
eighteenth birthday...See, I was blessed with a terrific
mom. Not only is she a lush, but
she also hates me.See A few days before the party, I
overhear her on the phone ordering
me a male stripper. Nothing says "Happy Birthday"
like ten inches of man
meat in your face.And knowing my mom, she'll try
and nail him after the party...in
my bed.
That guy over there? Our neighbor Mike Rudell,
big shot TV producer and the guy my
mom screws whenever the batteries run out.


So insted of a male stripper to liven up my 18th birthday party
i decide to pop out of my own cake.See, to understand me, you need to
understand that life, in my opinion, is all about new
experiences. "Firsts" is what I call them. and popping out of my
cake definetly a first. Somewhere around twelve, when I
had my first...rhymes with duck, I realized that the goal of life, any
life, should be to cram as many "firsts" into it as possible.so lets
stay at my party so you can see an example of a first.
"What the hell are you doing? I said wait until- shes
not even here morons" i here my mom yell at the
caterers as they roll the cake with me inside
to the party room. "But, but her friend said--"
I cut the caterer off by poping out of the cake compeltely
Naked."SURPRISE!' ofcourse i have to scream that considering all the
faces of the adults in the room. As i look at all the guys
faces they look disturbed but hey i know they are liking this.


That was definitely a first, but more importantly, it was the first
time I really understood my true potential...And that's when it all
started.That little stunt got me grounded for a week
but it was worth it See, I just don't understand people
who live their lives as one big routine They're basically
saying im not worthy of a unique experience on
this earth."...Well, sorry, but I am. The law of firsts has served me
well, because it's liberated me from the usual pathetic, repetitive
concerns of high school. I simply don't care if I'm popular,
because if I did, then I'd be constantly stressing about whether
my clothes are cool enough, or if Troy, the "gay but he doesn't know
it yet" quarterback, is gonna call.

So here we are high school where I've spent four years with many firsts. Oh an her walking next to me thas my best friend Kayla, and him thats Brett and his boyfrien- i mean friends. we draw lots of attention to guys who i wouldn't get payed enough to sleep with.
Kayla whispers, worried "Oh, God, it's Brett."
"Just keep walking and don't look at him" i tell
her making a mistake slight eye contact with him
"Yo, Kayla, I got some more of what you were looking
for Saturday night."

Ahh...The joys of the American educational system.
I see Kayla put her head down as her cheeks blush.
as I stop to address Brett and his posse.
"Actually, Brett, I think you confused her with that senile,
mother of yours."
Ooohs" and "Aaahs" erupt from the onlookers as Brett looks
concerned his ambush has backfired.
"Yo, Kat, why don't you use that mouth for something useful and suck
my dick?"
"Actually, now that you mention it,I can't think of anything I'd
rather do than suck your dick"
The crowd has now swelled to a few dozen, as everyone is
riveted by the exchange. Suddenly, I starts unzipping his fly.
"Hey, what the?!" i grabbing his belt buckle (just to let you know im not actualy gonna do this)"you said I could." Troy tries to push me away, but I've got a grip on his
belt. Everyone watching is almost speechless at first, but
then laughter starts.

lol wow allie this is freakin awesome you should write more stuff like this its way better than your other story but im just saying that becuase im not into the whole vampire thing SO WRITE MORE ASAP OR ELSE mr.spellane will show up in your closet hiding in that small room in it you have waiting for you lmao

After about three minute of trying to pull off Bretts
pants getting only little luck even though i wasn't actually
gonna suck his dick, he finally pushes me off and runs down
the hallway holding up his pants while mabs of people
laughed at the humiliated Brett.

I had in the process only gotten off his belt
so i gave it to kayla as a victory souviner.
but little did i know that that behind me was
the principal. "Kat my office... now"

So this is another first not one that was
planned like the rest of them. But a first none the less
"Kat why did you try to take off Bretts pants?"
"what can i say I've got the hots for Brett." LIE
"yes but why in the hall?"
"cause he turns me on" i can definetly tell
the principal is uncomftorble.

LATER THAT EVENING

"Kat" i here my mother call but i decide to ignore her
"KAT" i here again and again "what?" i ask
"when i call you i excpect you to answer me."
"i'm sorry" i say flately "dont patronize me" she says in her
bitchy i hate you go and die voice. "sorry" i say again but now sugary sweet so
it seems like i care how she feel, where in reality i really don't give a flying fuck.
"If you're trying to get me to call you a spoiled little ungrateful
bitch, you're out of luck, because I won't give you the satisfaction."
"Thanks, mommy." my response to keep from bitch slappin her into next year.
"What do you want?" i ask with an attitude
"I'm going out and I need you to wait for the delivery from the
liquor store. They'll be here by nine."
"Fine but i'm going out at ten."
My momis giving me the once over, lingering on my mini-skirt.
my mother winces at the outfit. "Just so you know kat that skirt makes your thighs look fat"
"oh jeez thanks mom im such a whale" It's a freakin' miracle I'm not
anorexic after eighteen years of her little pep talks. plus the liquor delivery
boy never seems to mind my fat thighs "have fun
and don't do anything i wouldn't" i say "well that doesnt leave much now does it."
"whore" i manage to slip under my breath.

My mother moved out to LA from Ohio
when she was twenty to become an
actress. Even though she was a
total flatliner, somehow she
managed to land a few bit parts on
soaps...without screwing anyone.
When she gets really sauced, she'll
pop the tapes in and make me watch,
then I'll threaten to call the
suicidehotline

After a few years, she got
desperate and spread 'em for this
fat, ugly producer when he promised
to give her a role in some bullshit
cable series that was basically
softcore porn. She got knocked up
with me and he told her she
couldn't be on the show, unless she
hoovered me out.
Excuse me for one sec. it the liquor boy

"oh hey Kat" he looks me up and down "umm my
eyes are up here, and your late hurry up i gotta be somewhere"

so where were we oh yes. She was gonna do it, too, at least
that what's she told me when she
was feeling particularly loving.
But then she heard rumors the show
wasn't gonna fly and realized
eighteen years of child support
beat thirteen weeks on "Skin
Tight", so I got to stick around.
...Bad choice. Anyway, what Mom didn't count on
was the prick having a heart attack
and croaking a year after I was
born. When she tried to collect on his
estate, she found out he'd owed the
government two point five in back
taxes. Now, if she had been smart, she
would've set her sights a little
lower and gone after a guy who
would've worshipped the ground she
walked on and wouldn't care that
she already had a kid.. But not mom, she was gonna bag
another elephant if it meant
gobbling every knob from Hollywood
to the Palisades
FLASHBACK

I sit watching TV as my mom walks in with YET ANOTHER
SLEAZY GUY, his hands all over her. mom looks surprised
and pissed to see me still up."Jesus Chr--Kat, why aren't you in
bed?" "I thought you said we'd be--" asks the Sleazy guy
"Don't worry, Larry, she's going to bed, right now. Aren't you?"
my mom says giving me that i'm gonna kill you if you dont
get to fuckin sleep look.

The next morning
"Oh...Uh, hi, uh, tell your mom I, uh, had a good time."
says the Sleazy guy as i sit at the table eting cereal.
"Oh, I will...Like some coffee for the road?" the guylooks
confussed. i like being nice to the men mom brings home
they keep her from practically murduring me and or leaving me in
forest and driving off. "sure umm... thanks kid."

Later on dear mommy comes out of her room in a
bathrobe and looks tired as ever " Do you want to live in this shit
hole your whole life?" she yells at me. i blankley stare at her.
"next time stay in your fuckin room until they leave. GOT IT"
I say nothing. Suddenly,mompicks up a small piece of
pottery from the coffee table and throws it at my head.
I duck as it SMASHES behind me on the wall.

END OF FLASHBACK

So life went like that untill about five years ago
she married Matt. t was a win-win. I'm left alone
and mom always has a fuck buddy. He didn't want
kids, but needed a ready-made family to help project
an image of stability for his corporate outings. It was great for about a year...
Then he figured out what he had married...by then it was too late.


"Diane? Kat? im home" Matt yells from the door "your home early"
i say walking past him. First time in three months he's
walked in before Letterman. He totally forgot my birthday party,
and right now I'm thinking his pin cushion must have given him the
walking papers or...found a new pin "yeah uhhhh... dinner with a client was cancelled."
BINGO. "tough day" i ask "about the same. is your mom home?" "No, she went to a party off
Beachwood. She was in one of her "happy moods", so I doubt she'll be sleeping here..."
"oh ok your going out on a school night?" "yep" "mmm is your homework done"
"haven't even opened a book" "okay" he wasn't listening so i assumed he didnt care
Considering how many guys my mom as done in his bed, you've got to
admire his resolve. He could've left her years ago, but with no pre-
nup, he loses half and he just won't give in. Their arrangement actually keeps
everything very calm.

hey my readers id just like to say thnx for readin the story
and just to let you know i may be posting every friday or saturday startin in 2 weeks
and plzzz plzzzz plzzzzzzzz comment cuz i really need your opinions
hope your enjoyin the story
ALLIE

wow allie this es getting bueno hahaha 6 days of freedom left you gonna be busy with more than this story cuz of literary club im guessing and then ub starting in january haha ima be busy too marion wants me to tryout to do crew with her and i wanna play basketball and softball this yr but as long as you update regularly I will be happy and not break anything...... unless

As I said, the rule of firsts
guides my life. Once you've gotten
into every club in town and had
enough Ivy League lawyers cum too
fast, drastic measures are called
for. I thought it would be a goof if I
put a photo ad in one of those 25
cent "outcall" massage newspapers
they sell around town. But I just
got a bunch of pervs breathing
heavy on my voice mail. So I went
to an escort service, and when they
found out I was 18, they told me
they had two tricks in the same
hotel that night...if I was up to
it. I walk bye three other prostitutes
Would you look at them? It's pathetic. I mean, she's got to
be, what? At least twenty
eight?...In dog years.
Oh, wait, that would make her four.
My first night as a call girl was
a serious let down. It turns out
both guys were in town for the
"Promise Keepers" convention.
The first one got so excited I
didn't even get a chance to get my
panties off before he creamed
himself. And the other said I looked so much
like his niece, he started
whimpering and praying for
forgiveness. i just rolled my eyes.

"Oh...wha- what are you doing here?"
my mother asks as i enter the house afte my night of fun
"did you have fun?" she asks clearly drunk
"oh i went down on two guys" "oh thasss nice."
of course wetheror not she was drunk it still wouldnt matter
God, what's gotten into her? She was almost warm and fuzzy.

After that night, things really picked up. My one rule which the agency wasn't
too happy about was, of course, only firsts, no repeat customers
But believe me, they didn't have too much trouble honoring that request.

Then one Thursday night I get a a last minute gig at a fuck pad in
Westwood that some executive keeps so "wifey" doesn't find the motel
bills on the gold card statements. They say I'm just his type...young.
They tell me he's not big on the chit-chat and he loves paying extra
for the stuff we charge extra for.
"hello" i herea male voice say. Can you fucking believe it?
it's Matt "Uh...hi," i quicly adopt a southern accent "Sorry, I'm Mlate"
"mind if i uhhh... freshen up" "sure no problem" matt said
My own dad! My first thought was "how sick is he?" But then I
started thinking...I'm one to talk, and...well... Why not? I mean, he isn't my real
dad...and talk about a first. The more I thought about it...
the more turned on I got. Then I thought that if my mother could do
some strange guy in my bed, I could do her strange guy in this bed.
"Everything alright in there?" matt asked (still in her southern accent)
"Just peachy. Listen, Sugar, would you mind turning the lights off,
I'm kinda new to all this and a little shy" "No, that's fine, but can we get
this show on the road"


LATER

I can't believe I pulled that off. Keeping my face hidden actually
wasn't that hard, and he pretty much let me do whatever I wanted.
And you know what?...He was damn good. I don't why Mom is throwing
the cat all over town, when she can have this every night.
I literally couldn't feel the ground under my feet. A first to
top all firsts. I knew I'd tell him one day, but I wanted to savor it
for a while. i wlaked back t my car when all the sudden i heard foot steps behind me
"You forgot your... jacket."

dun dun dun what will happen with Kat and Matt u guess